Basics of Non-coercive Communication

Non-coercive communication matters because it creates the conditions where truth, relationship, and humor can emerge without anyone needing to be controlled.

Often, points of contention around sensitive topics come from a real failure being pointed out, then over defended for fear of it “distracting” or overshadowing the rest of the dialogue. The danger seeming to be, “if I acknowledge this, then they will use that against me” vs both sides using communication around disagreement to come to a better understanding.

This again, is an example of how exploration based practices vs achievement based ones build better long term cohesion. For true connection, the goal isn’t to “win” the argument, it’s to find truth.

In education, this looks like learning through curiosity vs learning for access, status, or through coercion.

In communication it is a curious/benefit-of-the-doubt/aware-of-ignorance type of relational stance vs a combative one.

The core of explorative learning and communication is it must be non-coercive. Is communication based in connection, or is it a linguistic mechanistic hook, a means of control?

Non-coercive communication leaves space for emergence. It can be slower at onset and look indecisive but it is essential for emergent ecology.

In the long run this is how you have more resilient and independent structures. This also creates stronger relationships, more novelty, more innovation, and less stress.

The easiest way to get into a state of non-coercion is to pay attention to what you don’t know.

This tends to force meta layers of thinking

After two meta layers, relaxing usually occurs.

Then you see how anything can sprout up anywhere at anytime and within any time frame

Larger windows that we live inside. Unseen things possibly coming to completion. Small little loops happening all around us.

And in relation to all, the method for the most connection and humor is not to try to control but to wonder… What happens when things are free?