Perfectionism and intimacy

The need for protection vs the need for connection… what does that have to do with perfectionism?

What is the reason for perfectionism to begin with? To gain value? To protect? To avoid punishment?

It drives a push for quality, looking into details fractally smaller and smaller.

Quality can be necessary for survival… water quality?

The push tends to be a narrowing as we think of it.

Sometimes though you can shift

What is perfect?

What is even perfect perfection?

What are the holistic and various lenses that perfection can be viewed through?

Where does space fit into perfection?

Where are vacuums needed in systems?

Where, when, and how are relaxed states more perfect?

How do systems intertwine?

How do systems intertwine with values?

How do various structures feel in my body and why?

Structures shift as priorities change around the relationship to perfectionism.

It’s the priorities an the incorporation of different or more factors that can shift the likelihoods of how the mind wraps environments and situations in perfectionist narratives.

By allowing at least a mild amount of play with these variants, you can loosen up perspective to understand your own thought processes better. Even simple thought experiments can do this at low stakes/pressure.

The act of looking through a lens of different priority or thought process is a stretching of capacity for understanding, a broadening of reference points.

Shifting in incorporating the value of diversified perspectives, perfectionism can diffuse itself into understanding and relating…. Thus hopefully tricking open the point that value was inherent the entire time…

And when relationship can begin to be formed for its own sake, intimacy increases.